Mark's Cubs Worship Pulpit

The Cubs are now in the NLDS playoffs and start a best of five game series against the Cardinals Friday. It’s the first time back in the Playoffs since 2008, but you’ve seen all that stuff if you’re reading this. And you probably want a place on the Official Cubs Bandwagon. We Cubs fans who have been on the bandwagon since birth are always happy to get new people to join us, even if it’s just for a week or two. Unfortunately, the REAL bandwagon is pretty full, so we’ve got two sweet “overflow” bandwagons that the Backhawks are letting us borrow, so they’ll be plenty of room for all of you latecomers to jump onboard.

Now, not just anyone can get on the Cubs bandwagon. There is a process to this, and it’s been revised since the bandwagon incident of 2003, which we’d rather forget than discuss here. Just like getting the honor of buying Cubs playoff tickets or grabbing a place with 100,000 of our friends on the Season Ticket Waiting List, there is a process one must go through to get on the bandwagon, or the flatbeds in this case. Thanks to the fine people at Sports Illustrated, the application to get a spot on the Cubs bandwagon has been posted on the Interwebz and is here, courtesy of SI, for you to print and fill in.

I think everything there is self explanatory, but if you have problems with any questions, you’ll need to ask a REAL Cubs fan for the answers. Also, feel free to use me as a reference, consider it a gift to you, dear reader, but please provide at least three references, none of whom have ever put a St. Louis Cardinals hat on their heads in their life. If a reference fails that test, you’ll be off the bandwagon this year, and much more importantly, barred from joining us in the 2016 Season Of A Dream, when the Cubs will make this year’s performance look like, well, the White Sox season.

Hurry, you need to get your application in soon before space runs out. Just fill it out and send it to imsorryihatedyoualltheseyearsbutiwanttobecoolnow@cubs.com. Time is running out, the first NLDS game is Friday evening and we’ll be driving the bandwagon from Wrigleyville to Busch Stadium, picking up riders all along the way. Be there or be square. And bring lots of money for beer, there are no bargains at Busch.